Day 7: 20 years of wanting a dog
January 7, 2017You can find this article on my Medium account HERE
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I had wanted a dog since before I can remember. I had a plush stuffed animal golden retriever named “Sparky” that slept in my bed with me every night as a child. Unfortunately asthma and childhood allergies kept me from ever having a living fur-pal but my love for dogs carried well beyond my childhood.
I would dog sit for friends, take my highschool girl friends’ dogs for walks whenever I could and if there was a party where the host had a dog, I would spend more time on the floor with the pup than with any of my friends. The yearning got worse when I got a job at format.com where the dog-friendly office policy meant having at least one pooch at work on a daily basis.
I knew my days of solitude and fur-free living were numbered, I just didn’t know exactly when those days would end, until I saw Lucy.
I had made a list of 5 breeds I liked the most and kept tabs on local rescue organizations. As my obsessive research tendencies led the way, this list was created from a larger pros/cons list based on size, appearance, coat, grooming needs, athleticism, health, intelligence, and trainability. Oddly, with all things considered, my top 5 breeds all looked relatively similar just varying in size. In no particular order, they were: Blue Heeler/Australian Shepherd, Shiba Inu, Husky, Akita, German Shepherd.
Sidenote: I just want to say that I am SO glad that I didn’t end up with an Akita or other giant dog. I could handle a bit bigger as Lucy is small for her breed but I do not think I could handle that much bigger.
On the day that Lucy was posted for adoption, I had seen her on instagram, read her story and thought “she’s so cute but am I really ready to do this?”
Within 30 minutes to an hour of her being posted for adoption I had received links and messages from 3 separate friends who knew my breed list saying things like “I think this is the one!” and “She’s finally here!!!”
The application process was long. First a lengthy application form and questionnaire (took about 45 minutes to fill out), followed by a phone interview, then a home visit, then a meet and greet with Lucy, then a follow up meet and greet with Lucy and my roommates, then a follow up phone call about the two meet and greets and then I was approved for the adoption.
The whole process took a couple of months but I am glad the adoption agency was so thorough and really made sure I was prepared, understood what I was getting myself into and provided me with all the help and support I needed. They really did everything they could to make sure Lucy went to the right home where she would thrive and be happy.
I have to say though, for every cute picture and every happy memory there is equal amounts of hardship. Though I don’t know specifics, Lucy came from a rough past. She’s almost 5 and she was only house trained a year ago. Leash training was started with the foster but it’s something we’re still working on 4 months after bringing her home. Her anxiety was terrible. Doors closing, garbage bins on the sidewalk, passing cars, children walking to school, people on their front step having a cigarette, elderly people with push carts - pretty much everything was terrifying for her.
I still remember the day I took her for a walk and we passed a house that was having the roof re-done. For some reason the sound of the nail gun sent her into a terrified fury where she tried running in every direction choking herself with her leash. I had to literally pick her up and hold her so she couldn’t run anymore. I walked home with her panicking and whining in my arms for the next few blocks. It was a terribly depressing experience and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.
Her socializing has been slow but consistent. We started with having a friend come over, then a few friends at once, then we took her to meet some of our friends’ dogs, then home to meet my family, away for a weekend at a cottage with my roommate’s family and their family dogs, then to the dog park, then the off-leash trails and slowly but surely, her fears have turned into cautions. She’s happy to see new dogs instead of confused or scared, she quietly lets out a mumbly growl when a stranger comes over for the first time instead of her previous incessant panicked barking. Every day she gets a little more confident.
We found her happiest self on our first big road trip together. She was so comfortable in the car, so happy at any stop we’d make and so excited about hiking. I really cannot describe how excited she was about hiking. I’ve never seen a dog run so fast, I had also never seen a dog so excited to jog ahead and then run back as if to say “come on, it’s so great up there!”. Her reservations, her timidness, her anxiety, it was all gone. This was truly the greatest gift for her and for myself. I finally felt like I was doing something right and that I was able to make her happy.
In the first few weeks of having her, I was so worried about her. Worried she wouldn’t get better, that I wasn’t a good enough dog dad, that I couldn’t show her that the world wasn’t out to get her. Every car that passed, every door that closed a little too loud, every garbage bin on the edge of the sidewalk, it all seemed too overwhelming to handle but time and patience has done wonders beyond what I could have possibly expected.
Just as she appears in the photo to the left of this text, she is happy. She’s excited about every day, she’s willing to let a new person pet her, she’s cuddly and she’s so damn affectionate.
There have been very few things in my life as rewarding as getting a dog. No job, no accomplishment, no plane ticket, has paid out exponentially the way that Lucy’s little smile has. As I write this article now, she’s cuddled up against me, asleep and making little noises as she dreams.
I read somewhere that dogs most likely only dream about their owners and the world around them. That when they’re whimpering or wagging their tail in their sleep, it’s most likely at thoughts about you and the things you’ve done together. The thought of that alone makes me a little emotional but the reality is that I do the same.
When I think about my future, she’s there. When I get home from work in my dreams and I have my own house with a big kitchen and a backyard, she’s there and she’s out playing in that backyard. When I go home to visit my family, they’ve started to expect she’s coming through the front door with me, even saying “is that Lucy at the door?!” before I’ve even said hello. She’s the biggest part of my life now. She’s the first thing I see when I wake up and the last thing I see before I go to bed.
As I mentioned at the beginning of the post, I used to dream about having a dog but really, I’m still dreaming about having a dog every night. The only real difference now is, she’s dreaming right next to me.